That day I became a Singapore expat wife

Ladies sheltering and taking a lunch break, while it rains at a MRT station in Singapore

Singapore expat wife is a saying, the name of a Facebook group. But it's not really a thing. Why would they be called expat wives and not expats themselves, right? That's what I thought in March when my lovely Singapore ladies I was in touch with made me aware of this...well, status. Little did I know that soon it was also going to be my status.

Married in January, my other half and I rushed the event which was still a mere plan, as soon as he got a job in the sunny south east Asian island. Admittedly, being married made it a lot easier in terms of working visas and legal papers once here. But my imagination could not really think of me as a dependant, not as much as my dependant pass makes me, at least. “Once your pass holder gets here,” I quote the letter the ministry of manpower sent to the hubby “ please complete all the steps on the next few pages before this IPA expires. Otherwise, we will withdraw the approval and you will need to send her home”. Should things have gone wrong somehow, it is not the state of Singapore that would have me sent home, neither it's me who should have seen myself out of the country, but it's my loving husband, by whom I now depend, who has to send me home. Interesting language, I thought, but still it didn't hit me until I needed a sim card. On my way to the shop, I got prepared with passport and letter of approval as identity documents, but I got completely by-passed by the sales assistant. All they needed was my husband's employment pass and by magic I had a sim card! I was shocked and feeling a bit like my husband was becoming my sugar daddy...Soon though, I got to meet a few of these expat wives and definitely their not-so-feminist name doesn't undermine the strength of their choices.

A family taking a selfie at the Orchid Garden in Singapore

Most of the expats who work in Singapore are either in finance or in oil and gas. As a daughter of a man who works in oil and gas, I know that often they have to go after a job location given by the company they are attached to. I feel lucky that I could make a pondered decision about my next destination, rather than follow the lead of my husband's job, like some expat wives have to do. But sometimes their choice can also be strategical especially in terms of family panning: some ladies take advantage of their stay here to start a family, because they often don't hold a dependent pass that lets them work, or because they have to put their careers on hold due to the uncertainty of the timing of their husbands' work projects. While with one job per family there can still be a greater quality of life than there is in Europe, Singapore is also a great place for children and family life can be so much fun, safety of the outdoor space being a huge factor, as well as the easy and cheap ways to find help.

-->

Dependant pass in hand, I am also considered like a resident. And yes, while I make the most of the pool outside, work on my food blog growth (which by the way is www.blenderandbasil.com if you are a foodie!) and look for my next career move, I must embrace the status, the name and all that comes with it, I am a Singapore expat wife.